Implement part [MSC2228](https://github.com/matrix-org/matrix-doc/pull/2228). The parts that differ are:
* the feature is hidden behind a configuration flag (`enable_ephemeral_messages`)
* self-destruction doesn't happen for state events
* only implement support for the `m.self_destruct_after` field (not the `m.self_destruct` one)
* doesn't send synthetic redactions to clients because for this specific case we consider the clients to be able to destroy an event themselves, instead we just censor it (by pruning its JSON) in the database
This fixed the weirdness of 400 vs 404 as http status code in the case
the filter id is not known by the server.
As e.g. matrix-js-sdk expects 404 to catch this situation this leads
to unwanted behaviour.
Pull the checkers out to their own classes, rather than having them lost in a
massive 1000-line class which does everything.
This is also preparation for some more intelligent advertising of flows, as per #6100
because, frankly, it looked like it was written by an axe-murderer.
This should be a non-functional change, except that where `m.login.dummy` was
previously advertised *before* `m.login.terms`, it will now be advertised
afterwards. AFAICT that should have no effect, and will be more consistent with
the flows that involve passing a 3pid.
Python will return a tuple whether there are parentheses around the returned values or not.
I'm just sick of my editor complaining about this all over the place :)
We can now use `_get_events_from_cache_or_db` rather than going right back to
the database, which means that (a) we can benefit from caching, and (b) it
opens the way forward to more extensive checks on the original event.
We now always require the original event to exist before we will serve up a
redaction.
